Today is turning out to be horrible. No change in Scott, just constant exhaustion to the point where he wont even talk, not even a "yes" or "no". He has been running low grade fever again all day, it started to spike an hour ago but then eased a little.
Without getting into all the details I have come to realise that everyone I talk to gives me different answers to my questions regarding medication, fever, relapse etc. I am not becoming crazy or paranoid, I am just very aware.
The doctors and nurses are pretty much stumped as to what is going on with Scott and I cannot just sit here and watch him slip further and further into his abyss. I am not a doctor but I know that some of the symptoms Scott is displaying tie in with relapse, even some of his bloodwork is showing signs that this may be the case. So I have asked that Dr Tebbi do a bone marrow aspiration tomorrow and he agreed, I know that he would not have agreed unless he too thought it were possible. He still says that this is not likely and it goes without saying that he is the specialist and we hope he is right, having said that I want as many avenues explored as possible.
As each day passes it becomes less likely that this is viral, but something is going on and time is as always, of the essence.
It is heartbreaking to watch and not be able to do anything to make it all better. It is frustrating and distressing to see the doctors start to become uneasy.
I just want to see Scott laugh and smile, I want my baby back.