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blogging about Scott,
from Tom Flannery, someone we are both very proud to call our friend.
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Monday, June 25, 2007

Scott

Sometimes people come to me and ask for a song. A song about something or someone. I'm honored by every request. And as long as the subject matter is not something I object too, I never say no.

I'm trying to write a song now for a little boy named Scott. Scott was diagnosed with "t cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia", which is about as bad as it sounds. His parents and I are long distance friends, and hearing the news the other day shattered me. I don't understand why bad things continuously happen to good people. And I'm not much for the God business either, but I will say that if there indeed is one, he seems to be doing a fucking shit job.

These things are a fluke-ish roll of the dice. We walk in the rain and never expect to get hit by lightning. We cross the street and never expect to be hit with a car. We swim in the ocean and never expect to be chomped on by a shark. We hear about these things, but they always happen to others. Far away. We can turn the page. Or turn the channel. We can huddle with our own loved ones in the dark....listen to the sound of our own breathing. Secure. Content. Isolated from all the rottenness in the world. Our defense becomes a sort of huge malarial mosquito netting......covering everything and everybody we hold dear. Of course we feel the pain of others, but it becomes a dull throb after a while.

Until the rottenness invades. What words mean anything after you hear "your son has cancer"? What portions of your life merit any consideration whatsoever? Scott's Mom told me that she and her husband never even listen to music anymore. And from this admission, I perhaps can gain a tiny glimpse into their anguish. Music was always a bright star in the sky for them both. But for now at least, there's no songs to sing. There's only their boy.

I'm going to write this song. I've been thinking about it all day. How to approach it. I don't want to get all fucking maudlin. That's hackery. I need to tell myself that if this kid is in any way like his parents (and what kid ain't), he may track my ass down in the years to come and remind me about the shitty job I did. I would like to avoid that if possible.

But the song ain't just for Scott. Or his Mom or his Dad. It's for me too. And my own kids. For all of us who ask for little and expect even less....but must doggedly insist that our children are secure.

And so with that head of steam.....I'm off to work.

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