Yesterday our very good little friend Sierra died. I have so much I would like to say but am scared I dont say the right things. So forgive me if I get this wrong.
I havent told Scott yet. He is so unstable right now and I am terrified this is going to send him over the edge. He cared deeply about Sierra. I think she kinda liked him too, she called him 'Cott and always, even when she felt bad, gave him a smile. I have to tell him soon, I believe he may want to pay his respects, I cant not give him that opportunity to say 'goodbye'.
Sierra was beautiful and she always will be. She had the most incredible dark, and very wise, eyes. She had such a cheeky grin and, my goodness, she was the bendiest person I ever knew!! Sierra was adorable, with a fighting spirit, all wrapped up in a bundle of cuteness.
Today I have been 'acting', trying to make on its just a regular day. But it isnt. We lost Sierra. David went outside for a while on his own and trashed the weedeater, completely mangled it. We are angry, scared and very,very sad.
We are so sorry she is gone. For us, yes. But obviously we hurt for her Mom, her Dad and her brother and sister. I just hope they can find the strength to keep on going and someday to smile again.
This has been a horrible post to type.
Sierra, we'll miss you sunshine!
Added by David: Sierra was an aboslute gem. Just a little girl which always had the slyest smile I think I've ever seen. Sierra was also one of the first kids/families we met after Scott's diagnosis. She shared our clinic day, and one thing was certain - we'd see Sierra and her mom Mary Lynn at the clinic. I simply don't know what to think at times like these. I snapped while doing yard work like I've not snapped in a very, very long number of years. The anger I feel about this is great, and honestly, scares me. Sierra was just a child. I'd trade places with any of these kids in the blink of an eye. Sadly I can't do that.
Scott took well to her during this mess. I've also no idea how he'll handle this news. I have no idea if it is the right thing to do to have an 11-year-old boy deal with a funeral for a kid.
But all things in the nightmare seem to have no "right" answers. Just endless uncertainty, heartache and sadness.
Yes, she will be missed greatly.