Scott & Sunny

Scott & Sunny

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sierra

Yesterday our very good little friend Sierra died. I have so much I would like to say but am scared I dont say the right things. So forgive me if I get this wrong.

I havent told Scott yet. He is so unstable right now and I am terrified this is going to send him over the edge. He cared deeply about Sierra. I think she kinda liked him too, she called him 'Cott and always, even when she felt bad, gave him a smile. I have to tell him soon, I believe he may want to pay his respects, I cant not give him that opportunity to say 'goodbye'.

Sierra was beautiful and she always will be. She had the most incredible dark, and very wise, eyes. She had such a cheeky grin and, my goodness, she was the bendiest person I ever knew!! Sierra was adorable, with a fighting spirit, all wrapped up in a bundle of cuteness.

Today I have been 'acting', trying to make on its just a regular day. But it isnt. We lost Sierra. David went outside for a while on his own and trashed the weedeater, completely mangled it. We are angry, scared and very,very sad.

We are so sorry she is gone. For us, yes. But obviously we hurt for her Mom, her Dad and her brother and sister. I just hope they can find the strength to keep on going and someday to smile again.

This has been a horrible post to type.

Sierra, we'll miss you sunshine!

Added by David: Sierra was an aboslute gem. Just a little girl which always had the slyest smile I think I've ever seen. Sierra was also one of the first kids/families we met after Scott's diagnosis. She shared our clinic day, and one thing was certain - we'd see Sierra and her mom Mary Lynn at the clinic. I simply don't know what to think at times like these. I snapped while doing yard work like I've not snapped in a very, very long number of years. The anger I feel about this is great, and honestly, scares me. Sierra was just a child. I'd trade places with any of these kids in the blink of an eye. Sadly I can't do that.

Scott took well to her during this mess. I've also no idea how he'll handle this news. I have no idea if it is the right thing to do to have an 11-year-old boy deal with a funeral for a kid.

But all things in the nightmare seem to have no "right" answers. Just endless uncertainty, heartache and sadness.

Yes, she will be missed greatly.




















6 comments:

christine said...

There are no words to say how sorry I am - I saw Sierra and her mum at the clinic when I was there and knew she was very ill - but to have this news is devastating. I too am worried about you telling Scott and what it will do to him mentally but what else can you do? You have to be honest with him so he knows he can trust you. Please give my love to Sierra's family.
love
mum/nana

Sandie said...

There simply are no words to describe the sadness.

My heart aches for her family, and for you all as well.

Sharon said...

:( Sandie is right - there are no words to describe the sadness over these recent losses. WHY comes to mind, but who has that answer? :(

My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you struggle to make sense of the incomprehensible toll and wake this sickness exacts.

I know when the time comes, you will find the right words to give Scott the strength he needs to deal with the loss of yet another little friend.

Sharon

Sharon said...

:( Sandie is right - there are no words to describe the sadness over these recent losses. WHY comes to mind, but who has that answer? :(

My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you struggle to make sense of the incomprehensible toll and wake this sickness exacts.

I know when the time comes, you will find the right words to give Scott the strength he needs to deal with the loss of yet another little friend.

Sharon

nina said...

I can only echo what's already been written. My heart aches for all of you and especially for Sierra's family during this time.
My prayers go out to all of you.
Nina

Grandmama said...

So sorry about the losses you all have had to face . It really does make your heart ache for their families and all of you.
But I know you all will find the way to tell Scott. Be strong for him. We are not to ask why .But that is very hard to do . At my age I would gladly give my life for the life of these little ones
My love and prayers go out to all of you. It is hard to put on paper how you really feel.
Love to all of You
Grandmama & Papa {Mom & Pop]