Proterra

Scotty's counts were very high yesterday. His anc was 6200 due to the steroids. Whilst a steady high (normal for the average person) anc is good under most circumstances it is not what we are aiming for during leukemia treatment. Since our scare at Christmas Scott has had pretty consistent 'high end of low' counts. Therefore, chemo was increased yesterday to 125%. The goal is to keep the anc low but with just enough fight to ward off infection and to not give the leukemic cells an opportunity to flourish.

He has had a terrible week of pain and it still lingers. It does seem that with each cycle the pain gets worse and lasts longer. He keeps saying, "I cant do this anymore" yet he knows full well we just have to keep plodding onwards.

Due to the increased methotrexate yesterday he is having some 'tummy issues' he also has developed a bit of a cough/cold and said his chest feels 'rattly' (insert **Alarm bells** here!). Thankfully his anc is so high right now, however it will plunge in the coming days. I am watching his temperature closely, it is a little high but hasnt yet reached the dreaded 100.4. Due to our manic depressive nature we are pretty sure he will be admitted shortly before our planned trip to Camp Sunshine. We have spat in Fates face and insulted her mother, simply by hoping we could sneak away for a few days.

I dont want to write about Callum just now. I wouldnt even know where to begin. More than half my life was with him and we managed to cram in a hell of a lot of memories. From our beginning it was akin to a Shakespearean romantic-tragedy with so many twists and turns, continuing even after his days were cut short. He is gone and I dont like the way it feels. Scott is clinging to a tendril of hope that he's up 'there' on a drilling rig, a pouch of Drum in his back pocket and a nip of Grouse in his hand, "Grandad, now Dad, maybe God really does need a drill crew!!" Derry is silent.

Thanks for checking in.